The Theology of Love and Sex: Building a framework for a Healthy View of Sex 🫢
Pastors Kyle & Kara Veach
Introduction
In the beginning, God created man and woman, and ever since then, we have been asking questions about love, marriage, singleness, sex, and romance. Today, we will explore the theology of love and sex, and how it relates to our lives and relationships.
Building a Framework 🖼️
When we look at the Bible and culture, we see that they often have different views on love and sex. In this discussion, we will explore what the Bible says about these topics and how we can build a framework for understanding them.
Love-ology is an incredible series that is build around a book written by John Mark Comer titled, Loveology that delves into these topics, and we are fortunate to be able to learn together and grow in our understanding of love and sex. We invite you to join us on this journey and engage in the conversation.
The Sex Talk 😬
We all remember that awkward moment when we had "the sex talk." Whether it was with our parents, a health teacher, or through a variety of conversation, OR, it just was NEVER talked about - either way, it probably was an uncomfortable experience for many. For us, our experiences varied - Kara’s dad was a health teacher and brought out the health book, and Kyle’s parents never stopped talking about sex in a healthy, but comically uncomfortable way!
Regardless of our individual experiences, today is not about educating you on good Christian sex. It is about exploring the theology of sex and understanding what the Bible says about it. Our goal is to help you develop a healthy theology of sex, free from shame and guilt.
Sex is Good 🙌🏻
We want to emphasize that sex is good. Don’t get weird on me or stop reading because you’re blushing too hard…hear us out here. Sex is good - not just physically or emotionally - it is good because it’s a gift. It is a gift from God and should be seen as such. Unfortunately, society often portrays sex as something taboo, causing many to view it with shame or discomfort.
James 1:17 - Whatever is good and perfect is a gift coming down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens. He never changes or casts a shifting shadow.
However, when we read the Bible, we see that God created sex as a positive, pleasurable, and intimate experience. It is a life-giving moment that is meant to be enjoyed within the context of marriage. Unfortunately, after the fall of man, what was meant to be beautiful and pure became tainted by our sinful nature. Humanity chose to make that which was pure an idol - something that was never meant to be skewed for selfish purposes.
Our challenge is to reclaim the goodness of sex and stand for what God intended it to be.
Trusting God 🙏🏻
At the core of our understanding of sex is trust. From the beginning of time, humans have struggled with trusting God's plan for their lives. Just as Adam and Eve sought something outside of God's intentions in Genesis 3, we too can be enticed by the idea of pursuing sex outside of marriage or engaging in sexual immorality.
But the question we must ask ourselves is, do we trust God? Do we trust that His plan for our sexuality is good and that He wants the best for us? Trusting God is the key to finding healing and restoration in our sexual lives.
In waiting for sex while dating, in staying pure within your marriage, in keeping your mind pure from the idolization of sex, sexual images, pornography, lust - all these are areas where we lack trust in God that He has something greater for us in this area.
The Healing Process ❤️🩹
But let’s not sit in this disappointment about where we are or where our mind might go from time to time, let’s consider how we reclaim what God meant for good. Let's discuss the healing process and how we can begin to bring restoration into our lives.
Enjoy the Gift
First and foremost, we need to enjoy the gift of sex. Whether you are married or single, it is important to recognize that sex is a creation from God and should not be something to be ashamed of. We must have open and honest conversations about sex, free from the stigma that society has placed upon it.
Proverbs 5:18-19 - 18 Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you. Rejoice in the wife of your youth. She is a loving deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts satisfy you always. May you always be captivated by her love.
Recognize the Lack of Trust
Many of us struggle with a lack of trust in our lives. This lack of trust can manifest itself in various ways, such as manipulating our spouses with sex, withholding intimacy, or turning to pornography and lust. It is important to recognize these areas where trust is lacking and seek healing and restoration through Jesus Christ.
Jeremiah 29:11 - For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.
Choose Life
Just as Adam and Eve had a choice between the Tree of Life and the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, we too have a choice. We can choose life, trusting that God's plan for our sexuality is good and life-giving, or we can choose the counterfeit of sexual immorality. It is through choosing life that we can experience true freedom and fulfillment in our sexual lives.
Romans 5:5 - And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.
Closing Thoughts
The theology of love and sex is a complex and deeply personal topic. It is one that requires open and honest conversations with ourselves, our spouses, and God. By recognizing the goodness of sex, trusting in God's plan, and seeking healing and restoration, we can experience a truly fulfilling and satisfying sexual life.
Remember, God created sex as a gift, and it is up to us to embrace it, free from shame and guilt. Let us continue to explore and grow in our understanding of love and sex, always seeking to align our lives with God's intentions.
Further Reading
If you want to dive deeper into the topic of love, relationships, and sex, here are a couple of Christian-based resources to check out:
Book: Loveology: God. Love. Marriage. Sex. And the Never-Ending Story of Male and Female by John Mark Comer
Book: The Great Sex Rescue: The Lies You've Been Taught and How to Recover What God Intended by by Sheila Wray Gregoire (Author), Rebecca Gregoire Lindenbach (Author), Joanna Sawatsky (Author)
Other Links
Want to hear more? Check out another past message about love titled, “Love: Loveology series” by Pastor Kyle Veach or “Romance: Loveology series” by Pastor Kara Veach on YouTube
For more resources, including Bible studies and inspirational videos, visit our resources page.
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