How to Have a Godly Family: Parenting in Today's World
Pastor Kyle Veach
Parenting today presents challenges like never before. As we embark on this journey of raising children, it's essential to recognize the difficulties that come with it and the responsibilities we bear as parents. In this message based on my Sunday morning message, we'll explore the Foundations of a Godly Family and how we can navigate the complexities of parenting in a chaotic world. Click the link above for the full message.
The Challenge of Parenting Today
Parenting is difficult. And parenting today might be more challenging than ever before in history. It's no surprise that many of us find parenting to be a daunting task, given the complexities of the modern world.
Let's consider a humorous yet relatable story: a 6-year-old child exclaims, "I heard the F word today at school!" As parents, we might initially be alarmed, but it turns out that the F-word in question is "fart." While this story brings a smile, it also highlights the innocence of childhood and the importance of nurturing it in today's fast-paced, information-saturated environment.
The Perils of Early Exposure
Despite the plethora of parenting resources available today, we find ourselves facing a concerning reality. Children as young as 9, 10, & 11 years old are struggling with anxiety and depression. They are exposed to a world of information and experiences far earlier than they should be. The introduction of smartphones at a young age can be a contributing factor to this early exposure.
I had nightmares for years and still am afraid of the dark while camping because of watching “Harry and the Hendersons” at a young age. My brain didn’t have the emotional intelligence to process that Bigfoot is not real and not a viable threat at 8 years old. When we hand our children smartphones, we inadvertently expose them to a world that they are not emotionally intelligent enough to process.
From explicit content to social media to mature depictions of the news, they encounter aspects of life they may not yet be prepared to understand and also may not align with our values. It's essential for parents to make wise decisions, such as delaying the introduction of smartphones to their children, and being vigilant about monitoring their online activities.
The Titanic Submarine Analogy
To illustrate the importance of a strong foundation, let's consider the tragic story the Titan submersible that set out for the Titanic wreck on June 18, 2023. This small submersible, while seemingly safe, met with a devastating implosion deep in the ocean. The culprit is assumed to be the experimental carbon fiber material used on the submarine's hull, which slowly eroded over time. James Cameron, a famous film director became an expert in this field while filming the iconic movie, Titanic, said this about the submersible: “They fail over time, each dive adds more and more microscopic damage. So, yes, they operated the sub safely at Titanic last year and the year before, but it was only a matter of time before it caught up with them.”
In many ways, our families are like that submarine – seemingly secure, but potentially harboring hidden vulnerabilities. We lead various types of families, whether created, blended, single-parent, or in our singleness. The choices we make, both passively and dominantly, can erode the integrity of our families.
Building on a Solid Foundation
The foundation upon which we build our lives is the same foundation upon which we build our families. Life often unfolds differently than we envision. Divorce, hurt, illness, death, and financial challenges can shake the very core of our families.
Joshua 24:14-24 provides a timeless message: "But as for me and my family, we will serve the Lord." These words underscore the importance of serving God wholeheartedly and making Him the central focus of our families. Joshua focuses in and underscores the importance of his own personal relationship with the Lord, the importance of making God a priority in His family, and the importance of serving the church in serving God’s Kingdom.
It Starts with You
Before we can disciple our families, we must first disciple ourselves. Merely identifying as Christians without wholeheartedly following Jesus is insufficient. Lukewarm, half-hearted faith does not align with Scripture. Good intentions are not enough; we must make a deliberate choice to build a strong foundation in our own lives.
Speak for Your Family
Joshua's declaration, "But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord," signifies a clear separation from the world. We are called to be statement people, making it known what we stand for. Our actions should reflect our faith, and our children should witness the authenticity of our relationship with God. Psalm 127:1-2 reads that “Unless the Lord builds a house, the work of the builders is wasted. Unless the Lord protects a city, guarding it with sentries will do no good. It is useless for you to work so hard from early morning until late at night, anxiously working for food to eat; for God gives rest to his loved ones.” We are charged with building a foundation for our family that will be regardless of whether or not we are the ones building it. We need to be purposeful and deliberate in who is speaking for our family.
The Risk, Rescue-Less, and Model Approach
Parenting often involves three critical aspects: risk more, rescue less, and model intentionally. Unfortunately, many parents today tend to risk too little, rescue too quickly, and model too weakly.
Risk Too Little - Overprotecting our children from adversity and pain can hinder their growth and development. Allowing them to face challenges helps build resilience and confidence.
Rescue Too Quickly - Rescuing our children from the consequences of their actions can deprive them of the valuable life lessons that come from facing those consequences. Sometimes, allowing them to experience the natural outcomes of their choices is the best teacher.
Model Too Weakly - Our actions speak louder than our words. To raise Godly children, we must model a Christ-centered life consistently. Children don't just become what we say; they become what they see us live out.
Prioritizing God in Your Family
Godly families prioritize their faith. They don't treat God as an optional add-on but as the foundation of their lives. This means consistently attending church, engaging in spiritual practices like prayer and tithing, and demonstrating a commitment to God. The law of exposure states that the more you are exposed to something, the more you become like it. As parents, we have the power to expose our children to the presence and power of God. By doing so, we help them understand the joy of knowing God personally, their need for Him, and the transformation He can bring.
Parent on Purpose: Godly Families Serve God
While we can't force our children to love God, we can create an environment that increases the likelihood of their spiritual growth. Being intentional about exposing them to God and His Church is a crucial step in this journey. Ultimately, Godly families are those that serve God wholeheartedly. Just as Joshua declared, "But as for me and my family, we will serve the Lord." Serving God should be at the core of our family values and priorities.
Building on Solid Rock
In conclusion, the foundation you build your life on is the same foundation you build your family on. It's essential to choose wisely between building on sand – quick and easy but vulnerable – or on rock – stable and enduring, even in the face of storms. As parents, we must be deliberate about becoming Christ-centered families, modeling our faith, and prioritizing God in our lives. Our actions and choices will shape the faith and character of our children, setting them on a path to serve the Lord wholeheartedly. Remember, building a Godly family is a journey, and it starts with you. Choose to build on the solid rock of faith and let your family's foundation be a testimony of God's love and grace.
Further Reading
If you're interested in exploring more about parenting and building a Godly family, consider delving into these insightful books by renowned authors:
Parenting: Getting it Right by Andy and Sandra Stanley - In Parenting: Getting It Right, Andy and Sandra Stanley give practical insight that empowers parents to navigate the challenges of raising children with wisdom and grace. Drawing from their own experiences and Christian faith, the authors offer valuable insights and principles to help parents build strong relationships with their kids and create a foundation for lasting spiritual growth.
Parenting: 14 Gospel Principles That Can Radically Change Your Family by Paul David Tripp - Paul David Tripp's "Parenting" takes a Gospel-centered approach to parenting, offering 14 transformative principles to help you guide your family toward a Christ-centered life. This book provides biblical wisdom and practical advice to help you navigate the challenges of raising children with grace and purpose.
Parenting: 14 Truths You Can't Live Without by Dr. Les Parrott - Dr. Les Parrott's "Parenting: 14 Truths You Can't Live Without" offers a fresh perspective on the art of parenting. Drawing from research and his own experiences as a father and psychologist, Parrott presents 14 essential truths that can transform your approach to parenting and strengthen your family's foundation.
Other Links
Want to hear more? Check out an earlier message from 2019 when Kyle preached a message titled Generations: Biblical Parenting
Register for our Parenting with Purpose class led by LMHC, Angela Brown that will be held here at View Church on Wednesday, November 15th, 2023 from 6-7:30pm. Childcare is provided.
Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute professional advice. The views and opinions expressed in the links provided may not necessarily reflect the official doctrine or teachings of any specific religious organization. Parents are encouraged to seek guidance from qualified professionals and religious leaders regarding their individual parenting and spiritual journeys.
